RoseSeule (roseseule) wrote,

My thought today (crosspost from tumblr)

One of the people I work with (not a staff) was unable to sleep last night. I checked on her a few times, and I asked if I could do anything every time I checked in. Around 4 in the morning, she said she couldn't sleep because she just kept thinking about what she had done the day before and felt so embarrassed about it. When I asked her to tell me about it, the story she told was all jumbled and out of order, missing parts, but what remained was that she felt bad about it.

I sat down next to her bed on a chair, and just listened. I didn't ask her any questions, I just let her tell her story.

Too often, when people are telling us their story, we want to jump in and add things. I could have said that she wasn't telling the story right, that she was leaving out what she had done, that she needed to apologize or how I felt.

I didn't.

I listened.

And when she was done she thanked me and I went back to my other duties.

My Big Revelation last year was a simple one: All of us want to know that someone loves us. It's why we do what we do, it's at the core of our being, and it drives us to do things that we wouldn't do otherwise.

Part of loving someone is shutting up and listening. Letting them tell their story in their way and not judging or adding to it. It's hard. We want to ask questions, get clarification, tell our own story or judge what they have said.

I'm going to work harder not to do that. I'm going to just listen and in listening show that I care.
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